My parents are nothing but the best...loving, caring, and spoiled me to death. I honestly have no right to complain. Yet I know that had the people around me not pushed me to break out of my shell and point out the fact that I didn't fit in, I would not be struggling with myself as a 25 year old. It's not their fault, nor do I mean to blame them. They were just uninformed, concerned parents.
I just wanted to take a moment to urge all parents out there with introverted children to accept them as they are. No, it's not healthy for kids to stay holed up all the time...but if your child seems to need a break from socializing, give it to them. They're not deficient and they're not in need of help. They are no less happy than any other child.
All an introverted child requires is help to cultivate their strengths and give them the confidence they need, and most importantly, deserve.
I totally agree with this. I remember being told as a child that you don't talk enough. My junior school report cards even carried grades for Sociability and Initiative...can you beat that !!! And I usually wound up with a C (with A+ being the best). All my Academic grades were an A or A+. I remember Parent Teacher Meetings would always center around how to make me speak more.
ReplyDeleteIt has taken me close to 30 years to understand that I'm okay the way I am...but I need to keep reminding myself.
Some years back I noticed that my sister's younger daughter was tending towards introversion and her parents were desperately scouting for ways to help her. That's when I stepped in and told them to let her introversion be. I suggested that they encourage and support her with whatever she's good at and instill confidence in her. I explained to them that given her impressionable age if they told her something was amiss in her personality she would grow up believing that to be true, and would find it extremely hard to break free. My sister and her husband are wise so they understood what I had to say and stopped telling her that she needed to change. As of today she is a beautiful teenager, excelling at academics, sports, debating and the arts and completely at peace with her conversational abilities. I couldn't be happier :)
BTW, just as in your case, I know that my parents too did their best with what they knew :)